Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize