I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Randomize
