Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
