if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
