Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Pooping to opera.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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