I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
