# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
