I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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