I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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