Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize