you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
