Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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