totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
