1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
