Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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