hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
