similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
