Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
