just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
