his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
