If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
