Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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