i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
