you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She said her name was "party"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
