does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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