He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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