I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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