thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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