I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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