There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
