In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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