I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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