if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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