you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
