the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
