what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
