She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
