This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think your dad took our porno
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
