So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
