this beer tastes like vomit already
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
