Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
