i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
