I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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