Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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