she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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