My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
