WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
