"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My friends, they love my intelligence
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We need to get me chipped asap
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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