butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
