oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize