i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we're making bets on your personal life
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
