i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize