i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
