her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
