haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So squirting runs in the family.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
