All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Can Purell be used as lube?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize