Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is the high leading the old right now
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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