I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
