Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
