i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
